Thursday, June 28, 2007

The Single Tax

I've been unattached for 10 months now and have recently noticed a disturbing trend in the way we singletons are being discriminated against. When I realised how oblivious I had been to these injustices I started examining various events that I had previously brushed off as "awkward" and "shitty." In my ruminations I discovered a startling truth: Single people are being taxed for their lifestyle choice! Let's look at the evidence:

Case 1: The Sporting Event
I am invited to a CFL football game by a friend and her boyfriend. They tell me there are cheap tickets; only $12.50. I say count me in. The catch is that the tickets are actually only sold in packets of TWO for $25.

Single tax: $12.50


Case 2: The Social Club

My friend Aaron (also a leper, er, single) and I are both new to Calgary and we decide that a great way to meet new people while exercising and enjoying the gorgeous natural wonders is to join a hiking club. While filling out our forms we notice that a summer membership for 1 is $35, while couples are invited to join for $50.

Single tax: $10

Case 3: The Vacation
The invitation arrives in the mail for my cousin's wedding at a resort in Mexico. Sand, sun, drinks... what could be better? My parents will be paying $2000 for their room, while dateless me will shell out $1350.

Single tax: $350

Don't get me wrong I know that my partner-less existence costs more in rent, bills, partying, etc. and I gladly pay that price for my independence. However, if there's something I love almost as much as my freedom, its my money. I wonder if I'll eventually be motivated to find a boyfriend out of love or poverty?

3 comments:

Skinny Jeans Collective said...

I was single what like 3 years... it's a huge pain in the ass but it was well worth it!

Why haven't you joined Skinny Jeans? We need your halarious rantings :)

XO

StevieP said...

Hmmmm...very true. Damn single tax. However, after "the break up" I suddenly had a lot more cash on hand. Enough so that I was able to fully fund my trip to England within 3 months and pay off two credit cards completely. All those dinners and random bus tickets added up apparently!

Richard said...

Jess, my only comment on this is that it seems to be more of an economy of scale issue - at the absolute steepest part of the curve. ALSO, I'm freaked out that this bloggy thingy webpage knew my name without me ever typing it in, or signing up. It also has my bank account number